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Menopause can be a difficult phase of a woman’s life as numerous physical and psychological changes accompany it. One of the least explored areas is how these changes may affect relationships, especially intimate partners and husband-wife relationships. It has also been suggested that menopausal women may become irritable and angry with their husbands as a result of hormonal changes, mood swings, and lack of emotional satisfaction. 

According to some sources, during this period, the tension in the relationship between the spouses may lead to an increased risk of affairs as women may look for emotional or physical attention elsewhere [1]. This is not the case with all women going through menopause but it underlines the need to consider the emotional effects of this process on the relationship.

Menopause is a normal process that occurs in the life of every woman. Besides the physical symptoms of menopause such as hot flashes and night sweats, the effects on mental health are not as well publicized but are just as significant.

Hormonal Fluctuations And Mood Instability

The hormonal changes at menopause include a decline in estrogen and progesterone levels. These are hormones that help in controlling moods, and when they are low, one is likely to have mood swings [1]. 

Read Also : Does Menopause Make You Depressed?

During menopause, women are likely to have sudden emotions such as sadness, irritability, or anxiety. These changes can be rapid and dramatic and can leave the person feeling as though they are on an emotional roller coaster when it comes to managing the day-to-day activities.

Anxiety And Depression

The results also show that menopause could lead to an increased level of anxiety and depression. The reduction in hormone levels impacts neurotransmitters in the brain including serotonin which is related to mood. 

Some women may develop anxiety or panic attacks during the menopausal period even if they never had such problems before. Depression can also become more common and this may manifest as constant low mood, lack of interest in things, tiredness, and difficulty focusing.

Sleep Disturbances

Menopausal women experience hot flashes and night sweats and these interfere with sleep greatly. Lack of sleep causes fatigue, irritability, and inability to handle daily stress in the body. Lack of sleep also compounds feelings of anxiety and depression, making it a cycle where one can aggravate the other and the result is a continuous loop.

Cognitive Changes

A common complaint that women have during menopause is what has been described as ‘brain fog.’ This is characterized by poor memory, inability to focus, and slow thinking [2]. 

These cognitive changes can be irritating and result in low self-esteem or self-confidence and are likely to affect the mental health of an individual. These changes are often temporary but when they occur, they are not pleasant and may lead to a feeling of losing one’s mental marbles.

The plethora of physical and psychological changes that come with menopause can change the dynamics of a relationship, leading to reduced intimacy. Here are some of the menopausal effects that can reduce intimacy in a relationship.

Physical Discomfort And Pain

The changes that occur during menopause also affect the physical aspect hence making intercourse painful or uncomfortable. During menopause, estrogen levels decrease and this results in vaginal dryness. This dryness results in soreness and this makes sex uncomfortable and at times painful. In the long run, the fear of discomfort makes women avoid intimacy totally, and this leads to space between the couple.

Decreased Libido

Another effect of menopause is that the sexual desire of women reduces. Hormonal changes cause a lower level of sexual desire in women and therefore they are not interested in sex. This loss of desire is usually followed by fatigue and changes in mood that will lower the desire to engage in intimate activities even more. This means that the couple may have misunderstandings, or one may feel rejected by the other due to the low libido.

Body Image Issues

Hormonal changes during menopause lead to alterations in body weight, skin and hair condition, and hair loss. These changes may cause a negative body image since the woman will feel unattractive or not confident about her physical appearance [3]. 

Such attitudes may lead to discomfort in physical contact because a woman with a bad body image is likely to be conscious about her body and the way her partner looks at her. Such discomfort may result in avoiding intimate situations, which will just worsen the situation and decrease intimacy in the relationship.

Communication Breakdowns

The physical and emotional changes that occur during menopause can also cause problems in the relationship between partners. Some of the issues that women may be experiencing may be embarrassing or make them shy to discuss them, for instance, vaginal dryness or low libido. 

This lack of communication may lead to the development of misconceptions as to why the intimacy level has decreased. If the two people are not able to open up and discuss issues affecting them, the intimacy level in the relationship may be further reduced.

It is important to recognize the signs of menopause to navigate through this phase of life. Here are some of the telltale signs and symptoms of menopause.

Hot Flashes And Night Sweats

Hot Flashes: Flushing sensations, which can be abrupt and are usually worse in the face, neck, and chest regions. These may lead to sweating and redness of the skin [1].

Night Sweats: Night sweats that interfere with sleep because of the occurrence of hot flashes during the night.

Sleep Disturbances

Insomnia: Sleeping problems such as not being able to fall asleep or stay asleep at night. Fluctuations in hormones and night sweats are some of the factors that make it difficult to get a good night’s sleep.

Restless Sleep: Intermittent sleep where one is woken up often at night, which makes him or her tired and cranky during the day.

Changes In Mood

Mood Swings: Sudden fluctuations in mood, for instance, a person may be happy, and the next moment he or she is depressed.

Anxiety: More frequent episodes of anxiety or anxiety attacks that may not have any apparent reason.

Depression: Feeling down or having no interest in the things that you once enjoyed.

Physical Changes

Vaginal Dryness: Low levels of estrogen cause dryness, irritation, and pain during intercourse.

Weight Gain: Hormonal changes are common in many women and this leads to a change in metabolism and therefore gain weight most especially around the abdominal area.

Thinning Hair: Hair may become thinner or start falling off easily while on the other hand body and facial hair may grow [2].

Skin Changes: Skin may also become dry, develop wrinkles, or lose elasticity owing to hormonal changes.

Cognitive Changes

Memory Lapses: Some of the effects may include forgetting names, appointments, or even where items were put could become a common occurrence.

Difficulty Concentrating: It can become harder to concentrate on tasks or to follow conversations.

“Brain Fog”: A feeling of confusion, which makes it difficult to concentrate or focus on any particular idea.

Changes in Sexual Function

Decreased Libido: Sexual desire decreases because of hormonal changes and physical discomfort.

Painful Intercourse: Vaginal dryness and thinning of vaginal walls can cause discomfort during sexual intercourse and may be painful.

Bone and Joint Changes

Joint Pain: Stiffness and pain in the joints become worse, especially in the morning.

Bone Loss: Bone mass also decreases sharply during menopause, making women more susceptible to osteoporosis and fractures.

Urinary Issues

Frequent Urination: Frequent urge to urinate, including getting up during the night to pass urine.

Urinary Incontinence: Involuntary passing of urine particularly when one is coughing, laughing, or exercising.

Irregular Periods

Skipped Periods: Cycles may also become irregular with some months missing completely.

Heavier or Lighter Periods: The cycle of menstruation may also get irregular and at times the amount of blood flow may be more than normal while at other times it may be less than normal.

There is evidence that menopause induces emotional distancing and reduces intimacy, owing to the hormonal and other physiological changes in the body systems. Let’s have a more in-depth analysis in this section.

Emotional Distance

It is also worth noting that menopause can cause certain changes in the relationships between people, making them more distant. Some of the symptoms of menopause include mood swings, anxiety, and depression in women [2]. 

Such changes in emotions may affect their ability to relate to their partners since they might pull out or be more aggressive. Such detachment can cause feelings of confusion or loneliness in the partners hence strains in the relationship.

Changes in Communication

It is possible to have communication problems during menopause. The physical and emotional stress women go through may cause misunderstandings if not well explained. The partners might not understand some of the changes in behavior such as mood swings or fatigue and assume that the partner has lost interest or does not care for them anymore. 

This can lead to resentment between the two parties if not well handled. It is therefore important for the two to be honest and open with each other although this can be a problem if one or both of the partners are not able to share their emotions.

Shift In Roles

Menopause can also bring about changes in the roles of the women in a relationship. Women experiencing the symptoms of a menopausal period may require the assistance of their partners. This change can shift the balance of the relationship especially if one of the partners becomes the primary caregiver. In this case, it may foster unity in the couple, but it can also cause tension if the new roles are not well understood or appreciated by the two partners.

Impact On Family Life

It has been identified that menopause can impact family life and the roles and responsibilities of partners in a household. 

If the children are still at home, they can easily see the changes in the mother’s mood or energy and this will make them develop some questions in their mind. This can put more strain on the relationship because both partners feel that they have to be normal for the sake of the family. 

Also, menopausal women are likely to experience other life alterations, which may put pressure on the marriage, for example, children moving out or elderly parents to be cared for.

Social Interactions And Support Systems

The effects of menopause can also affect a couple’s social life in various ways as well. Women may avoid going out to social functions because they may feel exhausted, moody, or anxious about their size. This withdrawal can impact on the social life of the couple and result in a decrease in time spent with friends and families. 

It may be difficult for the partners to comprehend this alteration since they may feel left out or even lonely due to the changes they experience in their social lives. This can lead to feelings of isolation and in general deteriorate the quality of the relationship if not managed with care and consideration.

As menopause causes a rift in intimate relationships, there are chances that both partners might look for other avenues for their physical and psychological needs. That said, most couples maintain a good level of intimacy through menopause. Here are some reasons why affairs could be more common during menopause.

Sexual Desire And Libido Changes

Cessation of sexual activity is also common during this period, and these changes can cause dissatisfaction in the marriage. Sexual apathy is likely to cause conflict in the relationship since one of the partners may be deprived of his/her needs. 

On the other hand, some women may experience a rise in sexual desire as they undergo some hormonal fluctuations. In either case, such changes result in the disruption of the balance in the marriage and cause some to look for it elsewhere.

Emotional Vulnerability

Mood swings, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy are common during menopause, making it an emotionally trying period for women. This emotional dependence can at times compel women to seek solace or even approval from people other than their partners [3]. 

If they feel emotionally detached from their partner, they may be more likely to engage in an affair to compensate for the lack of feeling of worth or passion. Both attention and affection are important aspects of human life, and they can be compelling factors when one is going through a stage of transition in his/her life.

Marital Strain

Hormonal changes and other physical and emotional symptoms associated with menopause can put a lot of pressure on a marriage. It becomes difficult for the partners to appreciate each other’s effort hence the feeling of resentment creeps in. 

This strain can erode intimacy, which makes the notion of an affair more attractive. If the relationship has problems, then, it becomes worse when the woman is in the menopausal stage where one of the partners or both may seek satisfaction from outside the marriage.

Seeking New Identity

Menopause is a period that is usually associated with serious self-reflection and reconsideration of one’s life among women. Some women may develop a sense of loss in their middle age especially when they are out of their reproductive age and this may lead to a search for new identity. 

This desire for change and self-discovery can lead to reckless behavior, which includes affairs. The thrill of an affair might be viewed as an opportunity to regain their youth or to try something new in life even though it will hurt their relationship.

Statistics And Reality

Some studies indicate that affairs might be more likely to occur during the menopausal stage, but it is crucial to understand that an affair is not a product of a particular stage in life but a choice that people make based on several factors. 

Hence, while menopause does not lead to affairs, the changes and the challenges that accompany it can lead to dissatisfaction and thus create a gap in a relationship. Nevertheless, a significant number of women and couples go through menopause not having an issue of infidelity, instead, they fight the problem together.

Here we offer some tips on how husbands can better navigate through this significant phase of a woman’s life.

Understanding The Changes

It is a very important phase in the life of a woman and it is quite difficult for the husband to comprehend what the wife is undergoing. Most of the physical and emotional changes that occur during menopause are caused by changes in hormone levels which may cause hot flashes, mood swings, anxiety, and changes in sexual desire, among others. It is also important for a husband to learn about menopause to be in a position to understand all the changes that are happening to his wife. 

Such an understanding can enable you to reply with patience and kindness instead of irritation or misunderstanding.

Open Communication

It is important to keep the lines of communication open when it comes to dealing with menopause. Try to make your wife express how she feels and listen to her without criticism. Try not to get offended by her mood swings or irritability because these are due to hormonal fluctuations that occur in her body. 

In this way, you can both discuss the issues that come up as the physical symptoms, feelings, or alterations in the relationship and come up with ways of handling them.

Offering Emotional Support

It is important to note that one needs support, especially during this period of transition as women go through menopause. These changes may make your wife anxious, depressed, or even self-conscious because of the changes in physical and emotional status. Comfort her and tell her that you are still by her side and that these changes do not mean anything to the love you have for her. Simple things like hugging her, telling her you love her, or listening to her when she wants to talk go a long way in making her feel wanted.

1. Better Health Channel. Menopause and sex. https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/healthyliving/menopause-and-sexual-issues

2. The North American Menopause Society. Relationship Issues. https://menopause.org/patient-education/menopause-topics/sexual-health

3. The Menopause Charity. Relationships and Sex. https://www.themenopausecharity.org/2021/10/21/relationships-and-sex/

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